Now My Feet Won't Touch The Ground
by Chelsea Oz
Summary: A LadyBritish challenge. This is a going to be a very Twilight Zone-ish multi-chapter piece. Scout has a freak accident while playing outside with Jem and Dill. A head injury transports her back to the future. Last chapter is up!
1. Chapter 1

"Cal, why can't we go outside?" I ask my housekeeper as I take another swig of lemonade.

"It's over a hundred degress today, baby. I done told you children fifteen times already today," she said as she haughtily wiped her hands on her apron.

"We're bored though," Jem piped up as he grabbed another cookie from a tray. That was his fourth one already. "Besides, it's hotter than hell in this house already."

"Don't blaspheme, Jem," she said as she got to preparing tonight's dinner.

"What are we having?" Dill asked as if he lives here.

"Ham and potato salad."

"Again?" I ask with an eye roll. Ham and potato salad was one of the dinners she cooked when it would get really hot and it's been in the nineties and hundreds so often that we were having this at least three times a week.

"Miss Jean Louise," she slammed her hands down on her hips. I ticked her off big time. "You eat a lot better than a lot of folks do; I thought you knew that already."

"I do. I wasn't picking on your cooking."

"Mm-hm," she said with dagger eyes. "Second thought, why don't all three of you go outside. You children are driving me crazy."

"Thanks, Cal," all three of us say at the same time as we run out the screen door.

"Hey, if y'all get tired, come back on in here," she ordered.

Her words fell on deaf ears as we began climbing on over anything that was in sight. We were crazy from being cooped up in the house because of the heat. I began to climb on the telephone pole outside our front yard and I stare over at Miss Maudie.

"Hey, Miss Maudie," I called out to her. She was tending to her flowers as always. She usually turns her head to speak but she doesn't today.

"Hey, Miss Maudie," I called out for the second time. This time she did turn around and I let one hand go to wave to her. She looked right at me but never spoke; she just walked back into the house. When she walked back in, I noticed the sky got dark; like thunderstorm dark. It wasn't supposed to rain today, was it?

"Jem?" I called out. "Dill? I think it's going to rain. Maybe y'all better come down from that treehouse."

I got no response. I waited a couple of seconds only to get sprinkled on. I heard a rumble from the sky and I looked down from the pole I was still attached to. I have climbed this pole many a time and I don't remember it feeling so scary.

"Jem?" I called out for him again, tears of fear welling up in my eyes. "Dill? Come on this isn't funny! It's going to storm and I'm scared and..."

Lightening flashed out of nowhere and sent shockwaves through my body. I tumbled to the ground as soon as the thunder rumbled again. It was a nasty fall; I landed on my head and I could feel it as it happened. I am going to be messed up when I wake up from this...

It took hot sunshine to wake me up again. I open my eyes slowly because with my fall, I didn't want to give myself any further headaches. I felt fine though and I found myself laying there just admiring the sun.

"Jean Louise?" A man above me asked.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Cut the bullshit, just get up!"

"Not until you tell me who you are."

"Hank Clinton."

"Why are you being so rude to me, Hank Clinton?"

"You're sunning yourself in your bra and panties in front of the town ice cream parlor, that's why! I don't care if you want to be a hussy in New York, go on ahead but not around here!"

"Why would I want to be a hussy in New York?" I ask, finally getting up. "I don't even know what a hussy is."

That was when and what Hank was talking about: I really was in nothing but my underwear. I cup my very full-sized breasts that were hidden away by my big girl bra. I looked around what I knew was my neighborhood but there was nothing familiar about it. Miss Maudie's house wasn't there, Miss Rachel's house wasn't there and neither was mine. My house turned into the town ice cream parlor Hank was talking about. What was this? Hank took off his coat and draped it over my semi-naked self as I began to cry. Hank took my face in his hands and kissed my cheek.

"You're okay, Jean Louise," he said as he hugged me.

"What happened to Scout?" I ask in regards to myself.

"Nobody's called you that since Jem died."

"What do you mean Jem died?" I ask, my face frozen to Hank's shoulder. I can't even move.

"He died, honey," Hank told me softly.

Was this really my life as a woman? Being in Hank's arms feels nice, but there's something I don't trust about him. I can't put my finger on why. I hope this is all a dream because I don't know how I'm supposed to live without Jem.


	2. I Can't Make You Love Me

Hank got me in his car and drove me to my "new" house. He drove a fast car and it made a headache come on with a roaring vengence. The blinding light of the sun did nothing to help me and the only comfort I had at the time were my own hands to shield my face.

"Here," Hanks says but I don't dare take my hands away from my face to see what he's going to give me.

"What is it?" I ask as I choke down vomit that's creeping up in my throat. I think I'm getting what Aunty calls a migraine.

"Why don't you open your eyes and look?"

"Why don't you leave me alone?"

"Hey, I'm just trying to help you."

I sigh heavily and wipe my eyes. I guess he was right. The sun still hurt my eyes but I can squint just enough to see a pair of sunglasses being held out for me. I grab them out of his hands and immeadiately put them on. I suppose that's a little better.

"You're welcome, Hank," Hank comments sarcastically. God, this guy's an ass.

"I know you've been helping me and I do thank you but my God, I'm obviously not a child anymore. Hard to believe, I know."

"Yeah, you certainly are not a child anymore," he commented with a chuckle. It was then that I realized that he was fiddling around with the rearview mirror trying to get a good look at me. Who was this guy exactly? The more I spend time with him the creepier he gets.

"You're as fascinated with my breasts as I am, aren't you?"

"You've got a nice rack there, sweet," he said with a wicked smile.

"Is that what you call them?"

"From time to time. Only when I want to be crude."

"Want to be? I think you're crude without even trying there, bud."

"Does that turn you on?"

"Who do you think you're talking to?"

"My girlfriend."

"Does my daddy know who you are? I can't believe he would be okay with me seeing someone like you."

"I work with your daddy and live with your daddy, remember?"

"You mean I have to go home with you no matter what?"

"Yup."

"Yikes."

I can hardly wait to get out of the car. We finally come to the house and I actually find it pretty cute. I think I'll like it here. Too bad I apparently have a live-in clown to deal with. This guy's enough to make the selling price crash. Did he actually call me his girlfriend? I'm Dill's girlfriend, I'll always be his girlfriend. Where was he? I needed him to save me from this nightmare-this life I supposedly have. The only thing that's keeping me sane is the fact that I'll see Atticus. He'll make everything all right; he never fails.

"Atticus!" I call out, almost busting the door down. "Atticus! I'm home, Atticus!"

"In here, baby," he says from the other room. Oh, his voice is so sweet and familiar that I just want to run and jump into his lap. Then I look down at myself again and realize that I'm far to big for that. I can hardly contain myself regardless as I enter the room but I'm sorely disappointed to find what I'm seeing. Instead of a handsome, middle-aged man I once knew, I see an old, frightening shell of an old man. I can't take my eyes of this guy's hands; they were bloated and looked broken at the knuckles. Then he looked at me with Atticus' eyes and I knew it had to have been him. To see my father like this made this nightmare of a life even worse and I began to cry again.

"What are you crying for?" He asks with an unfamiliar, unpleasant tone.

"I'm sorry," I say as I wipe my eyes.

"For what?"

"For everything."

"Not half as sorry as I am," he says with a deadpan delivery as he goes on reading his book.

"Reading the law?" I ask, trying to make this situation better.

"I am indeed," he says, still deadpan.

"Will you read to me, Atticus?"

"No."

"What do you mean no? You and I used to read to each other all the time!"

"Times have changed and so haven't you."

"Yeah, no kidding," I say with a chuckle. Has anybody actually taken a look at me and what I've become? "Come on, why won't you read to me?"

"Your view is not the same as mine anymore."

"Let me climb inside of your skin, then. Let me walk around in it."

"Jean Louise..."

"Scout!"

"What?" That made him look up from the book. I wasn't afraid to face him now, though.

"My name is Scout. I'm still here, Atticus. Scout never left me. You love Scout."

"I did love Scout."

"What did I just say? I'm still here. I still exist."

"You're Jean Louise now, sweet. Get used to it."

What the hell does that mean? Why was the only man I ever loved treating me this way? What and where did I go wrong?

"Jean Louise," Aunt Alexandra said as she handed me a glass of lemonade and a cookie. These certainly looked familiar. "There you are."

"Why are you here?"

"Well, what a proper young lady you are," she commented. Glad to see her passive-agressiveness never left her. "I am here to take care of your father."

"Why you, though. Where's Calpurnia?"

"Oh she left, darling. Don't be silly."

"Did she die, too?"

"No, she just left. Are you all right? You are acting right queer today, Jean Louise."

"And Dill, too?" I ask, disregarding her usual hateful comments.

"Who?"

"Charles Harris. You remember, he was my friend."

"I haven't the slightest idea."

I don't know what else to say. All that I knew about life when I was a kid was ripped from me as an adult. I walk to the window and stare out at the sun. The big tree out back had no house and no tire swing. My headache came back and so didn't the memory of me falling on my head. Did I kill myself? Was I really in hell? I can't remember if it was Cal or Maudie or Atticus himself who told me that you had to go through hell before you get to heaven...


	3. Four Minutes

"There's my sweetheart," I heard a familiar voice behind me say. I instantly got happy because I knew this man would have some answers and would make me feel better.

"Uncle Jack!" I squeal as I pull him into a hug. Oh, it was nice to have him here even though I didn't know why he was here. Last I knew he was still living in Tennessee.

"How's my Jean Louise?" He asked me. My spirits spiraled downwards when he called me that. Why did have to be Jean Louise? I hated Jean Louise and apparently everybody else does to. Everybody left her and who hasn't left her seems to treat her like shit.

"She's horrible," I say with a vengence as I yank a chair out from under the table and sit down. I put my face in my hands and try hard not to cry. I hear my Uncle Jack pull up a seat beside me and inhale.

"Your father called me and told me to come here to see you," he said as he put an arm around me. I lift my face from my hands to look at him.

"You came all the way here from Tennessee just to be with me?"

"Honey, I live in Maycomb now."

"Well that's good," I say as I try to smile. Uncle Jack doesn't seem to be judging me at all; he just smiles back at me. He's a good man. "I would feel awful that you had to come all the way down here just for me. Have I really been that bad?"

"You just have bad days sometimes," he says as he takes my hand to hold his. "You're okay."

"Did I go crazy, Uncle Jack?"

"You have just been having a rough time since your brother died."

"I don't even remember him dying."

"That's okay, sweetheart."

I had to take a pause. Although being able to talk with Uncle Jack is a comfort, I still can't help but feel like everything had gone wrong. I let go of Uncle's Jack's hand and for the first time realize my palm: it was blanche white with scars on it. I look at the other one and realize it's identical to the other one. How come I'm just realizing this? How did this happen? Maybe if I think real hard it will come to me.

"What are you thinking about, Jean Louise?"

"Im trying to figure out why my hands look the way they do."

"Don't you remember your accident on the telephone pole?"

"I remember feeling shocked by the lightening and falling on my head..."

"You burnt your hands. Do they hurt?"

"Only when I try to think about it."

"Okay, stop thinking about it."

"Wait, you mean I survived it? I didn't die?"

"No, you're okay. You're not meeting people in heaven, I promise."

"Heaven, are you kidding me? This is hell!"

That made Uncle Jack laugh and I couldn't help but laugh with him. That was when my headache came back. This time my whole head felt as if it were under the Niagara Falls. I tried to look at Uncle Jack but my vision was blurry and I couldn't see. I tried to speak but words failed me. Uncle Jack immeadiately called out for Atticus to come.

"What is it Jack?" Atticus asked as he rushed in to see what was the matter. My poor father looks like he hurts so bad. I wish I could help him but I obviously can't even help myself right now.

"Help me lower her to the floor," he said with haste. "She's going to have a seizure."

"What time is it?" Atticus asks as he grabs my legs and helps Uncle Jack lower me to the floor.

"2:16," Uncle Jack replies.

I can already sense my body begin to tremble as Uncle Jack holds my head to protect me. I can still see Atticus and I would rather not; he looks like he's in so much pain watching me go through this. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he must still love me after all.

 _"I love you, Atticus," I want to tell him so bad. "I'm still here. I promise, I won't leave you."_

"Four minutes," Atticus said as he pulls out my mother's watch. I prayed that he would stay with me once my apparent convulsions stopped but he didn't. Uncle Jack stayed on the floor with me as I watched my father walk away in tears.

 _"You bastard," I think. "I wouldn't leave you."_


	4. I Am Scout

Uncle Jack must have carried me back into my room and into my bed because there was no way I would have been able to do it myself. Not in the shape I was in after my seizure. I couldn't have blacked out for long because it was still light outside. I looked down at my breasts and sure enough I still had them. This is a nightmare, a bad dream, I don't know this woman I've become or the path I took to become her. It's clear to me that I've lost a lot of people and I'm just afraid I'm losing myself if I hadn't already.

"Come in," I say as I hear a knock on the door. Uncle Jack opens the door and gives me a big smile. I smile back at him and I open up my arms for him to hug me. He is the only one who can make me feel good anymore. I can melt into his arms when he hugs me back.

"Someone feels better," he commented once we broke our hug.

"Kind of but not really," I admit to him.

"Tell me what you're feeling."

"I feel confused; I mean, I have so many questions."

"Feel free to ask."

"What happened to Miss Maudie?"

"Why are you wondering about her?"

"When Hank found me at the ice cream parlor I realized her house was no longer there. I figured if anyone knew what happened to her it would be you. You loved her once."

"I still do love Maudie," he said as he rubbed his eyes. Maybe I shouldn't have felt free to ask. "She had cancer when you were about fifteen and she died from it when you were sixteen."

"She suffered a long time, didn't she?"

"Yes."

"I feel so sorry for her. Again, I don't really remember that. All I remember was that she was the last peson I saw before my telephone pole accident. I remember saying hello to her but she never said it back. Did she see what happened to me?"

Uncle Jack could only nod. I can only imagine what people around me that day felt. It was scary falling the way I did so I couldn't blame others for being scared at the sight of me hitting the ground. I don't want to think about it anymore because I don't want to make myself upset again.

"Do I look pretty?" I ask as I touch my face.

"You were always pretty."

"Can I have a mirror, please? I would like to see how I look."

"I never thought you would grow up to be vain," Uncle Jack laughed as he got up and looked for a mirror.

"I'm not vain," I retorted. "I'm just curious to see how I look as a woman."

"Ah," he says as he pulls out a hand mirror from the other room; it must be the bathroom? "Here we are."

I was actually excited to see myself. I wonder if I still look like Atticus. From what I was told as a child, Jem was the little boy version of my mother. My mother must have been very beautiful and if my mother had a temperment similar to my brother, she would be even more beautiful to me.

"Tell me if you like what you see," Uncle Jack says as he finally hands the mirror over to me. He laughed when I had to close my eyes so I wouldn't ruin the moment for myself.

I wasn't laughing when I looked in the mirror. I didn't see Jean Louise at all but a very injured and vulnerable Scout. Uncle Jack was tending to Scout and I realized that he had been calling out for someone. I saw the Atticus I knew run to help Uncle Jack tend to Scout as she began to thrust herself in the bed. Scout was having a seizure just like Jean Louise, myself, had. My Lord, what had I done? Why didn't I just stay inside and be good for Calpurnia that day? This never would have happened.

"Are you okay?" Uncle Jack of the now had asked.

"How do I go back there?"

"Where?"

"Home. I'm not home and I'm not this woman: I am Scout, not Jean Louise. I got to get back to her somehow."

"She's inside you."

"No, no, Uncle Jack. It all makes sense to me now. It's the other way around; I'm inside her. How do I get back to her? You're the only one who can help me. I know you can help me."

"I can't help you."

"Yes, you can!"

"You are helping yourself; you needed yourself and you got her. You are Scout, Jean Louise. No one can take that away from you. Remember what I told you."

"I will, Uncle Jack. Thank you."

"No need to thank me, sweetheart," he said with a goodbye kiss. "You're on your way."


	5. I'm Alive

I slowly awakened as Scout late that night. I remembered what had happened as Jean Louise but my mind was very much my own again. I couldn't come right out and say why I was so sure but I was very clear for the first time in a while what had happened. I notice that someone was laying in my bed beside me. I slowly turned around to see who it was and I prayed that it was Atticus or at least Uncle Jack.

It was Jem; somehow Jem had fallen asleep beside me and I was ready to bawl tears of happiness. My beautiful brother was still here with me and I realized then just how much I would be lost if I lost him. I wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed his cheeks until he woke up. He was so sweet when I woke him and I was so glad that he wasn't mad or embarrassed that I did what I did. He just kissed my cheek back and nuzzled his cheek against mine.

"Promise me something," I whispered to him.

"What?"

"Never let me grow up."

"The way you tumbled today nobody thought you were going to grow up!"

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize; you didn't know that you were going to get electrocuted and land on your head."

"I think I had a very bad dream."

"I didn't think a dream had a gray area."

"It was really real though. I was a grown-up."

"Yeah, that is a bad dream."

"You weren't in it, though; you died before I had a chance to see you."

"What?"

"Atticus was mean to me, Jem," I began to cry at the rememberence of it all. Atticus' behavior towards me was what had upset me the most but I could have rambled on and almost did. "Dill and Calpurnia ran away. Aunty was here and some creep named Hank..."

"Hank? I don't know any Hank."

"Good because he ain't worth meeting, anyway."

"Geez, I'll say you had a bad dream."

"Uncle Jack! He's here isn't he?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"The mirror showed me. Will you go get him and tell him that I made it?"

"What about Atticus? Don't you want to see him?"

"I can't face him right now. Not after the way he treated me."

"Scout, it was a dumb ol' dream!"

"I don't care. I just want to see Uncle Jack."

"Fine," he grunts as he finally gets out of my bed to get my Uncle. I take a look around my room and realize how nice it feels to be here again. I must have forgotten how thin the walls are because I can hear Jem talk to Uncle Jack from all the way in here.

"She wants to see you, Uncle Jack," he says.

"She's awake?"

"And asking for you."

"I'll go with you, Jack," Atticus said. I gasp at the thought they must have been sleeping in the same room. I would have never thought of that.

"No," I hear Jem say. "She told me she doesn't want to see you right now."

My brother could be the biggest blabbermouth. Had I known how badly Atticus wanted to see me I would have let him in. Too late now, I reckon. I hear footsteps outside my door and then a knock.

"Come in," I say as the door creaks open. It was nice to see my hero face to face when he entered. I open my arms for a hug and he happily obliges. I realized that I had bandages on my hands and so I figured I indeed burnt them just like in my dream. I don't know if they gave me pain medicine or anything but my senses are very sharp. I can hear soft whimpering from another room and I knew it was Atticus. The thought of making Atticus cry made me cry.

"Why did you want to see me?" Uncle Jack asked, not letting me go.

"To thank you for helping me."

"Anytime, sweetheart."

"Tell Atticus I'm sorry."

"Why don't you do that yourself?"

"I can't face him right now."

"What are you so afraid of Scout?" My brother chimed in. "It's Atticus!"

"Both of you weren't in my dream. You don't know the hell I went through."

"Your father went through hell watching you go through hell," Uncle Jack was getting mad now. "Yes, we know it must have been scary for you but everybody here loves you and we were all very worried about you."

"You came all the way from Tennessee, didn't you?"

"I was in Maycomb actually when your father called me."

"Do you live here now?"

"Not yet, anyway."

I burst out crying again. I got confused all over again. I thought once I was in Scout's body everything would be clear and all right but now I realize that it's just a different kind of confusion and I was still very much afraid. It's going to take a good while for me to get better and how I wish it weren't so.


	6. A Rush Of Blood To The Head

I must have dozed off to sleep again because it was high noon by the way of the sun. I was still in Scout's body which made me happy. I am scared that I will wake up one day and become Jean Louise again. My God, will the rest of my life be like this? I now figure the day I wake up and don't think about her is the day I will truly be healed. The knowledge of the fact that I have seizures now and burn scars on my hands indicate that this will be a long, hard road.

"Scout," Jem called out for me as he knocked on my door.

"What do you want, Jem?"

"Loverboy wants to see you."

"Loverboy?"

"Yeah, Dill."

"Oh, good!"

When Jem said that all I could think of his Hank telling me he was my boyfriend and him looking down bra. It gave me the creeps; why would I want someone like that in my life? Dill's face lit up as soon as he saw me and I felt myself light up as well. He ran to me and hugged me so hard we both fell over on my bed.

"Hey," Jem scowled as me and Dill just laughed. "Don't get carried away now. She still don't feel good."

"Oh, I'm okay, Jem," I tell him, still laughing.

"You can go now," Dill said to Jem.

"What do you mean by that?" Jem got offended.

"It means I want to be alone with her. Will you please go?"

"Only if you promise to behave yourselves. Oh, I'm sorry, Scout, did I sound too much like Atticus? I don't want to scare you."

"Dill's right, you can leave now," I said, angrily as I put my hands on my hips. My brother can be such a shit sometimes.

"All right but I mean it, Dill, don't do anything stupid."

"I'll try not to," Dill answered.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Jem said as he slammed the door. Dill gave me a lip-smacking kiss out of nowhere and then he hugged me again.

"I love you," he said.

"Not for long," I said and then immeadiately regretted it.

"What do you mean not for long? Don't tell me it's about that dumb dream you had."

"I can't shake it off, Dill."

"I don't think I could ever leave you again after watching you fall like you did. I thought you died and it broke my heart."

"Where'd you go after I fell?"

"I got so scared I ran to Aunt Rachel's. I couldn't bear to see you like that."

"Dill, you told me that you wouldn't leave me and then you turned around and said you had to go home because of me."

"Because I thought you died. You're going to be okay and I can live with that now."

"Dill, if you can't accept the fact I'm going to die one day maybe we shouldn't get married."

"Stick with me and you'll never die. If I could have traded places with you on the pole that day I would have."

"That's the nicest thing you ever said to me."

I kissed his mouth again and hugged him again. My hands began to throb in pain and I had cried out. I thought Dill was going to cry because I was crying. That was when Jem busted the door open and grabbed Dill by the scruff of his neck.

"What did I say?" Jem seethed into Dill's face.

"Jem, it's my hands. He didn't do anything wrong. Please let him go."

"She hugged me and then she started crying," Dill added.

"What's going on here?" Atticus bellowed as he entered my room. He looked at me and I could see the pain in his eyes. I hurt him really bad and for some reason the thought makes my hands hurt worse. The tears kept coming from my eyes as Atticus pauses to inhale and exhale.

"Dill and Jem," he said with a thumb signal to get out. Jem finally lets Dill go and they head out the door without saying a word to each other. He closes the door and then comes by my bed to sit beside me.

"What happened?"

"I was hugging Dill and my hands started to hurt."

"Time for your medicine," he said as he took out my still taped up hands and kissed my bandaged palms. I giggled at first and then began to cry at how tender he was being towards me. This accident sure had made me an emotional wreck.

"Please don't leave me. I love you and I need you. Please don't go."

"What are you so afraid of, baby?"

"That one day I'll grow up and you won't love me anymore."

He didn't say anything at all after that. He took my face in his hands and nuzzled his face into my hair. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with all my might. He wasn't going to let me go. I was elated until my head felt like I was drowning and the walls went blurry.

"Atticus, get Uncle Jack," I said before my voice could give out. "I'm going to have a sei..."

"Jack!" Atticus frantically called out. I swear his voice boomed all over the house. The last thing I remember seeing was Uncle Jack rush in before the tremors gave way and my brain shut down on me.


	7. Bathwater

I didn't know what to expect when I woke up from my second seizure. Was it my second? Probably not; maybe I've had three or four. I'd have to ask Uncle Jack or Atticus about that. Has Jem seen me have one? I'd hate to think that he did; it's bad enough that Atticus and Uncle Jack have. They're scary enough to go through let alone watch someone go through them because there is absolutely nothing no one can do about it except sit there and watch me ride it out until it's over.

"Come in," I answer yet another knock at the door.

"Can I come and see you, baby?"

Calpurnia! How I missed her strong yet reassuring voice! I couldn't wait to see her intimidating, sweet face.

"Of course!" I reply happily.

She swung the door open with a tray of food just for me in her arms. I was so happy to see her; I kept smiling at her but I realized she couldn't bring herself to really look at me. I all of a sudden remembered the part about me landing on my head and I wondered how I looked from the neck up. Probably as screwed up as I felt.

"Give me a smile," I ordered.

"I beg your pardon?"

At least that got her to look at me. She seemed more concerned about feeding me than anything else.

"Smile, Cal. I know you can."

"Take a bite of this chicken soup and I'll give you one."

I was hungry and the soup tasted as comforting as Calpurnia's presence. That was when she gave me a smile. Looked like it took her everything she had to give me one but it was still a smile. I happily took every bite of soup she offered until the bowl was clean.

"You liked that didn't you, baby?"

"It was real good and I was hungry, too."

"I made you a special treat to go with your soup."

"What?"

"Crackling bread."

"Wow! Thank you so much!"

"Do you think you can hold your bread and milk?"

"I can try."

Cal put a large piece of crackling bread in one hand and the cool, tall glass of milk in the other. I felt pretty good about it especially seeing as the coldness of the milk acted like ice on the hand that was holding it.

"I can do it," I reassured her.

"I'll leave the tray here for you then," she said as she got up to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"I was going to draw you a bath."

"A bath for me?"

"Baby, it's Friday night and you haven't had a bath since Tuesday morning. You could use a good wash."

"I suppose so," I agreed as she shut the door gently behind her.

I devoured my crackling bread and chugged my milk in record time. I unbuttoned my pajama top and was shocked by how skinny I had become in just a few days. I tried to get up out of bed but my legs wouldn't support me. It was like I couldn't even get my own feet to touch the ground. I was sure that Cal had a sixth sense about me because she shuffled in as soon as I laid back down on the bed.

"You were trying to get up, weren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry."

"You should be," she said with narrow eyes. "Mr. Finch!"

"Are you going to tell on me?"

She didn't answer but instead waited for Atticus to come to her. I waited for her to tell him what I tried to do and I also waited for the lecture that was sure to follow.

"Yes, Cal?"

"Can you help me put Scout in the tub?"

"Better yet, why don't I just give her a bath myself?"

"You never bathe me, Atticus," I remarked, flabbergasted.

"Do you not want me to?"

"No, you can. That's if Cal doesn't mind."

"I don't mind at all, baby. Let your father give you a bath for a change. It'll give me extra time to clean up the dishes."

"Thank you, Cal," Atticus and I said at the same time.

Atticus came over to me and picked me up as Cal walked away. Atticus kissed my forehead once he had me in his arms and we were on our way to the bathroom. He sat me down on the toilet as he drew the bathwater and then came over to me to help me undress. Someone would think I would feel awkward about my daddy doing this for me but I didn't feel any such thing. I think it's very sweet of him to do this and I think it proves how much he does love me.

"Can I look in the mirror, Atticus?" I ask as he picks me up again to put me in the tub.

"You look pretty banged up, baby," he replied, disheartened. I was afraid of that.

"I want to see me anyway."

"All right," he says as he carries me to the mirror.

I was a sorry sight: the crown of my head was all bruised, both of my eyes were black and I had a big gauze bandage right near my right temple. I must have flipped over on my face after I hit my head. Tears began to well up again and Atticus noticed because he kissed a black and blue patch on my eye.

"You're okay," he told me as he laid me down in the warm water.

"I'm ugly."

"The bruises will fade, baby. You're not ugly."

"So you think I'm pretty?"

"I don't think you're pretty," he said deadpan as he dolloped castile soap in his hands. "I think you're beautiful."

"Thanks, Atticus," I say with a smile as he massages the soap into my hair. I'm afraid I like it when Atticus bathes me more than Cal does. Atticus is very gentle where as Cal likes to scrub me down the point where I wonder if I have any skin left sometimes.

My bath is over all too soon and I feel disappointed I couldn't enjoy it more as the water runs out. Atticus grabs the towel, throws it around me and then picks me up and holds me close. He must not care if he gets wet and I didn't care if he did.

"Don't you ever think that I will ever not love you," he whispered in my ear. "You're my baby girl."

"And you're my Atticus."

"That's very true."


	8. When A Man Loves A Woman

It was another sunny Saturday morning when I woke up. I could hear Dill and Jem playing outside already and I wished so badly to join them. I knew I shouldn't have been doing this but I got up to go look out the window. I was proud of myself for at least getting out of bed on my own two feet. I pretty much hobbled the rest of the way and collapsed on the window sill but I was all right. I could see just about everything and I could have cried from wanting to be a part of that world out there so bad.

"Scout," Atticus bellowed from behind me. I turned around to see him shoot me a disapproving look and that was when the tears started falling.

"I want to go outside, Atticus," I confessed. "All I've been doing is lying around and sleeping. I want to be out and play."

"Well," he said as he walked over to me. "You're still too weak to play, baby but I can take you outside if you really want to go out."

"Oh, I would love to!"

"Hang on to me," he said as he hoisted me up in his arms. I wrap my already tired legs around his waist and my skinny arms around his neck and away we went.

I will never take the outdoors for granted again. I could hear the mockingbirds of all creatures singing away in the trees and the heat from the sun beating down on me felt like heaven. We must have had bee's nests in our porch somewhere but I never paid them any mind. I never got stung and I reckoned it was because they knew I was never scared of them. I may not have been able to run or climb in the treehouse but sitting on the porch swing and Atticus' lap was enough.

"Hey, Scout," Jem and Dill said in unison as they waved to me.

"Hey," I said as I waved back.

"How you feeling?" Jem asked.

"Good now," I replied.

"Good. Come over here, Dill," Jem said as he wandered off while Dill followed.

"Where you going, son?" Atticus asked.

"To Miss Maudie's house."

"Why?"

"She wanted to see Scout. Do you want to see Miss Maudie, Scout?"

"Yes, I'd love to."

"Good. We'll go get her."

A butterfly landed on my cheek as soon as they walked to her house. It was a beautiful blue one; I don't believe I've seen one of those before. I could tell by the look on Atticus' face that he was as surprised as I was. He flew away on me though and I felt kind of sad he had to leave. Atticus kissed my cheek and held me a little tighter.

"Did I ever tell you that blue was your mother's favorite color?"

"No," I replied. I was amazed at the fact that he had mentioned her. Maybe he thought the butterfly was my mother?

I was distracted as I saw Miss Maudie being lead out of her house with Dill holding one of her hands and Jem holding the other. I was even more amazed at the fact Uncle Jack was not far behind her. I didn't think Miss Maudie liked having pests in her house. Then again, he loves her and I have a feeling she loves him, too. They better tell each other so because if everything in my dream was true, and I seriously hope not, she doesn't have much time left.

"Scout," Miss Maudie said when she finally came around to me. She took my face in her hands and kissed my cheek. "Hi, baby."

"Hi, Miss Maudie."

"I've been meaning to come see you, honey but I didn't know if you were up for visitors or not."

"Well, I am. Are you hot Miss Maudie?"

I shouldn't have asked that. Miss Maudie's cheeks went from pink to red and I could have swore Uncle Jack blushed a little as well. I don't know what in the world they were doing in there but it made the house hot; you could tell by how they had to loosen a few buttons and they were kind of sweaty. Atticus got a little uncomfortable because he grunted a little bit and I could tell he was turning pink as well. Am I the only one who doesn't feel so hot?

"No honey, I'm fine," she said as she buttoned her dress back up.

"Atticus, can I please talk to Miss Maudie and Uncle Jack alone?"

"Why, baby?"

"I have to tell them something important."

"If you say so," he said as he sat me up on the swing and kissed me before he walked back into the house.

"What are in the world are you trying to do, Miss Jean Louise?" Uncle Jack asked.

"Well, don't ever call me Jean Louise again; my name is Scout."

"Okay, Scout, what in the world are you trying to do?" He rephrased as Miss Maudie laughed. If she knew her fate in my dream she wouldn't be laughing.

"You love her, right?"

"Scout, honey," Miss Maudie tried to stop me with pink returning to her cheeks.

"You love him, right?" I asked her.

"Scout, we are not getting married, honey."

"You don't have to be married to love somebody, Miss Maudie."

"That knock on the head made you a wise soul, sweet," Uncle Jack piped up.

"I want you two to say, 'I love you' to each other."

"Honey..."

"I love you, Maudie," Uncle Jack finally gave in with a kiss for Miss Maudie.

"I love you, Jack," she said as she returned his kiss.

"See what you made her do, Scout? She kissed me finally!"

I could hear Atticus, Dill and Jem roaring with laughter from inside the house at them. I started to feel angry because no one seemed to understand why I wanted them to do what they did. I got up and huffed my way to the door.

"Scout, sweetheart, come back. We thought you were only fooling!"

"Uncle Jack," I turned to face him with tears in my eyes. "Don't you see that she is going to die someday and you would have never told her?"

I ran past the boys who were still laughing at me and past Atticus who was afraid for my safety. I ignored all three of the adults calls to come back to them and I slammed the door behind me as I collapsed on the bed. I should just tell them already.


	9. Dog Days Are Over

"What?" I asked as I heard that knock on the door that I've been waiting for.

"Open up, Scout," Atticus ordered.

"Are Uncle Jack and Miss Maudie with you?"

"Yes."

"Good. All three of you can come in but I want Jem and Dill to stay out."

"You don't have to worry because I already sent them outside. Now, please open the door."

I took a deep breath and I walked to the door. It wasn't going to be easy to tell them everything that I remembered about my visit to the other side; that was the only appropriate name I could think of for where I went. I opened the door to find three grim-looking adult faces looking down at me.

"Don't look at me like that," I whispered as I tried not to cry.

"We're worried about you, honey," Atticus said as he picked me up and carried me back to my bed. Miss Maudie and Uncle Jack each took a seat beside us on my bed. I took another deep breath as I was getting ready to lay it all out on the table for everybody. I swore silently to myself that I would tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So help me, God.

"I woke up as a woman," I said silently as I began to play with my fingers, nervously.

"What happened to you while you were a woman that upset you so much?" Uncle Jack asked.

"Where do I begin?" I replied with another question. "A lot of things."

"Tell us what you remember, honey," Miss Maudie encouraged. I looked up at Atticus who had obviously put his lawyer face on as he was being as quiet and patient with me as possible.

"I woke up in a bra and panties in front of the town ice cream parlor," I began.

"We don't have an ice cream parlor around here," Uncle Jack interrupted. He was right; the only thing we had closest to an ice cream parlor was the drugstore counter where a soda jerk handed out cones, sundaes, malts and bronx creams.

"Let her say what she needs to say, Jack," Atticus intervened.

"We did in my dream, Uncle Jack; it was our house. We moved to another one, Atticus. A guy named Hank brought me there and he lived with us. Atticus, if you ever meet a guy my age named Hank Clinton, don't make friends with him."

"Why?"

"Because he was a creep. He was supposedly my boyfriend and he came right out and said I had a nice rack."

Miss Maudie and Uncle Jack had to hold back their laughter as Atticus' face turned red. I don't know if he was embarrassed at the idea or furious at it. If he has any sense he would be both.

"He was the one who told me that Jem had died," I had finally said. I couldn't even look at them at this point. I had all I could do to not fall apart at the memory of it all. "I liked our new house. Calpurnia left me and so hadn't Dill; that's what Aunt Alexandra said anyway."

"You were sick, Atticus," I said as I looked up at him. "Your body didn't work like it was supposed to anymore and you always looked like you were in pain. You weren't very nice to me and I didn't understand why. I told you that I was Scout, not Jean Louise and that you still loved me but you wouldn't accept it."

"I had a seizure as a woman, though," I said as I looked at Uncle Jack. I couldn't look at Atticus anymore. "You were there to take care of me because Atticus asked you to. You two held me as I had a seizure but at least you stayed with me. Atticus walked away and that was the hardest thing next to Jem's death to deal with. That's why I didn't want to see you when I woke up Atticus."

I had looked up at Atticus who was now crying. I began to cry at the fact he was crying. I gave his cheek a kiss before I could continue on.

"Why did you want Uncle Jack to tell me that he loved me?" Miss Maudie asked. She was crying, too.

"You died, Miss Maudie. Uncle Jack cried in my dream when he reminded me of when you died when I was sixteen. He said he still loved you and I wanted to make sure you knew that."

"Oh," Miss Maudie said as she clutched at her chest.

"You really helped me though, Uncle Jack," I said as I looked to him again. "You were so nice to me. I saw Scout have a seizure when you handed me a mirror in my dream and that's how I knew I was dreaming. You told me I could come back and I did."

Uncle Jack inhaled deeply and rubbed his brow. I thought that I should think of something; a distraction from this. For some reason Calpurnia creeped in my mind and I wondered where she was.

"Where's Calpurnia? I haven't seen her since last night when she fed me and offered me a bath."

"She's outside putting clothes on the line," Atticus replied, wiping his glasses. "Do you want me to go get her?"

"No. I don't want to bother her if she's busy. Does she feel guilty?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like letting us go outside even after she told us no?"

"She did," Atticus said. I like that he's not lying to me.

"Did I make her cry?"

"We all cried."

"We watched you fall," Uncle Jack blurted out.

"What?!"

"Atticus had picked me up from the Maycomb Junction so he got out at lunch early that day. The reason why Miss Maudie didn't say hi back was because she saw me come down the street and the lightening struck you the moment we pulled in the driveway."

"We all ran to you, honey," Miss Maudie chimed in again. "We were all with you."

"Except, Dill," I said as I looked at Atticus again. "He told me he ran back to Aunt Rachel's house because he got scared."

"He wasn't telling you a story this time," Atticus said, dryly.

"Does Aunt Alexandra know?"

"She does."

"How come I haven't seen her? I thought she would be running up here had she known."

"You may not know this," Atticus said as he drew me closer. "But your aunt loves you very much. She couldn't bear to see you in the state you were in so she chose to stay away this time. All she wants is for you to be all right."

"Just like the rest of us," Uncle Jack added.

"I am all right, though."

"That's the secret, sweet," Uncle Jack said as he picked me up from Atticus' lap. "You know you're all right when you tell yourself you are and you believe it. You're all right."

"Excuse me," Calpurnia knocked at the door and stuck her head in. "Lunch will be served soon."

"Wait," I said before she could leave. Uncle Jack lowered me to the ground so I could go to Calpurnia and give her a hug. I could tell from the sound that came out of her mouth that it was the best hug she ever gotten.

"Ham and potato salad again?"

"You know it, baby," she told me with a kiss.


End file.
